Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
