Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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