I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
