Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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