The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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