i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
