So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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