i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
