I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
