My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
