Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
