i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
