we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
