Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
