it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
