jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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