Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
