I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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