all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
