I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
