He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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