OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
