quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
