There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
