Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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