the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
