Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
