? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
