look no pants
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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