when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
