She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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