We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
