Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
