you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
