i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
