I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
