im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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