State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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