your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
