Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
