her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
