i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
