Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
