Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No subtext here. People are naked.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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