Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
