i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
