is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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