Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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