How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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