I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize